When we depend on people, situations and objects for our happiness, we are setting ourselves up for stressing out when these are gone. We lose our happiness and become sad when we are laid off from work, experience a break up with a loved one, or our possessions are destroyed by fire, wind or water. This is because we have attachment and defines ourselves by our roles and relationships.

We must remember that people change, circumstances are affected by a variety of reasons and everything is impermanent, except change and love. We will always have change and everything is based in love, even our most difficult experiences.

When we have regrets for past mistakes and missed opportunities, we are attempting to control the past. This is attachment. Likewise, when we worry about future events and situations, we are attempting to control what has not occurred. This is also attachment. What are some ways to not have attachment?

1. Accept yourself for who you are in any given moment. You are enough. You have value. What you are doing now, is enough. Be who you are. You have enough strength, courage and wisdom to handle any situation in the now.

2. Appreciate everything that is happening right now. Focus on the quality of the relationship and the activity you are engaged in. This will feel like living moment to moment. It’s true, that’s all we really have. The Now.

3. Understand that there is a reason for everything because you and everyone else is part of a grand design. There may be times when you need to be alone. You don’t complete someone else, you are someone else already. And vice versa.

4. Stay open to new relationships, ideas and experiences. Interact with lots of people. This can be accomplished with community projects, charity operations, social media platforms, and neighborhood activities to name a few.

5. Instead of feeling fear, feel love. Focus on what you love and you will manifest supportive relationships and garner happiness within yourself. People will be drawn to you like a magnet because you are radiating a positive energy.

It will take practice to live in the now. Be patient with yourself and focus on one aspect at a time. Journal your feelings. Note what types of things and relationships you have attachment. Are the relationships and things healthy? Do they nourish your soul and give you the freedom to grow spiritually, without limitations? If not, perhaps it is time to let them go. Consider donating your objects to charity/thrift stores, or placing them in a yard sale to give an opportunity for someone else to acquire what they need at an economic price. Consider re-evaluating your relationships if you feel they are limiting. Friends come into your life for a reason, and they leave for a reason too. Always bless them and wish them well when the relationship ends. Positive intentions return to us one hundred fold. You have the right and the power to choose how you experience your Now. The choice is yours.

Blessings and joy!

Barbara Becker
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