In the first article I shared with you about one of my relationships changing dramatically and very quickly. After I left that relationship and walked out the door of a home we built together, in 1986, I was involved in a near fatal automobile accident.
On my first date with a man who would become my husband, I drove my brand new Honda Accord through an intersection in Phoenix, Arizona. A woman under the influence of alcohol and driving with rage toward her husband, sped through a red light in the same intersection I was driving through, at the exact same moment. Her large Oldsmobile struck the driver’s side of my vehicle just in front of the left front wheel. At the moment of impact, my date and I went airborne in my Honda, after striking the sidewalk curb. We crashed through a chain link fence and landed on a four foot high mound of dirt.
I wrote about this traffic accident in my book, Enclosure: A Spiritual Autobiography. I offer the first chapter of my book as a gift on my website: BarbaraBeckerHealing.com. The details of the accident are in this first chapter. What I didn’t share in the book was the daily death threats I received from the angry boyfriend I had just left. After I was transferred out of the Intensive Care Unit, I received phone calls from caring friends too. My family was out of town and did not know I was in the hospital until the third day. In the eighties, we didn’t have cell phones, and caller ID on the bedside hospital phones, On each call, the boyfriend would start the conversation in an apologetic, caring tone. He then spoke about the desire to come to the hospital and kill me, because I left him. I laid there in bed, lethargic from the narcotics and muscle relaxers I received for the pain of my broken bones and muscle spasms. I felt extremely vulnerable with a chest tube that was implanted into my pleural cavity and connected to a drainage collection device on the side of the bed. My physical energy level was hovering around zero. In my mind, I turned to God and prayed for protection from harm. I did not tell anyone about the threatening phone calls and instead, trusted in God’s Divine plan for me. I was blessed by God’s Grace, as the angry boyfriend never followed through on his threats.
In retrospect, I see these circumstances at the time were my “dark night of the soul”. It was a test for me to trust and have faith in God. I do not expect or recommend anyone else to handle the situation as I did. This was my journey into trust on a deep physical, emotional, mental and spiritual level. I have also since learned the angry boyfriend played the role to help me love myself, love God, and forgive him for the behavior he exhibited in my lesson. When I left the relationship I held the intention that I would leave safely and quickly. I also hoped he would learn from the relationship and apply the lessons to a new relationship with someone who loves him deeply. In other words, I hoped the best for him and for myself.
Upon discharge from the hospital, I spent the next month in an electric hospital bed in my parent’s living room. I recovered from my injuries in six weeks, and felt strong enough to return to my job as a critical care nurse. My courtship with my new boyfriend continued and we were married the following year at the edge of the Grand Canyon. I travelled around the world for the next eighteen years, alongside my husband in his global computer standards work. Never, in my wildest dreams, did I consider I would be seeing the world and making new friendships and appreciating all that was given to me. My life changed on a dime. In Part III, I will share with you about a new career manifested without my intention.
Blessings and love!
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