Public phone

Do you find yourself in relationships and situations where you are arguing, complaining, judging and feeling awful while engaged in this form of negative communication?  Do you want to change your relationships and negative situations? You can.

First, you must look at what the relationship is all about. Are you committed in helping each other grow? Do you want to know the hidden message behind the messaging?

Years ago, I met a woman who helped me understand that we humans play roles for each other. Before coming to the planet, we, as souls, agreed to help one another work out karma, learn about love and loving ourselves, stand up for ourselves by speaking our truth, and many more projects and lessons. In turn, we agreed to do the same for them and others. We play roles for one another. At times, we are the brother, the sister, the parent, the spouse, the significant other, the neighbor, the co-worker, the friend, the stranger on the street, the person on the wrong number dialed phone call, the bill collector, the doctor, the nurse, the vet, and the roles are many. We play these roles to help one another.

In some roles we are loving and nurturing. In other roles we are the negative and complaining one. Sometimes we play a role to get the other person to perform an action for their highest and greatest good. For example, when I was married to my second husband, he would not support my becoming an angel communicator and offering my intuitive gifts in service for others. Every chance presented, he would yell at me for not meeting his unspoken expectations about something. I took it personal and felt awful. I didn’t know about not taking the spoken word not personally. It hurt deep inside of me.

I then learned my ex-husband was really trying to help me stand up for myself and not take his verbal abuse anymore. It’s perfectly okay for us to walk out of a room when our loved one is screaming at us. It’s okay to hang up the phone when the person on the other side of the line is speaking abusive words and thoughts to you. We don’t have to stay in that frequency.

Looking deeper into the abusive communication, we see the person is really speaking about their pain. Their pain is our pain. As we dig a little bit more, we realize the other person is sacrificing their natural loving and positive state of being, so that we get the message to act. The action my ex-husband was trying to get me to perform was me standing up for myself, speaking my truth, and stepping out of the marriage to live and work on my own as an angel communicator and channel for God’s grace. When I saw the abusive behavior from this perspective, I understood the divorce would be a grand act of love for both of us. For me, it would be my freedom to be who I am. For him, it would be the fulfillment of the contract we made before we came to the planet. He truly helped me on a spiritual and physical level. Although I still loved him, I knew I had to leave.

Because I understood the dynamics of the behavior on a spiritual level, it was my responsibility to walk through the divorce proceedings with love, honor, respect, and compassion. There was nothing to forgive, because we just played our roles. The divorce was simple and easy. To this day, we remain mutual friends. I continue to hold the highest regard for my ex-husband in all that he is and his contributions to humanity.

Not every negative communication is about ending a marriage in divorce. We do have the opportunity to look deeper into the roles we play for one another and to find the hidden message is about love and helping each other. Can we see the negative communication for what it is? Can we change our perspective from a personal one to the bigger picture of creating more love on the planet by changing and improving our relationships and situations?

Blessings and joy!

Barbara Becker