When we think of loving actions we see them as kind and thoughtful gestures. A kind word of encouragement. A helping hand extended when we fall down on the ground. These acts are easy to identify with love. Do you know that the actions toward us that appear to be unkind and hurtful, are also a form of love? I’m not talking about a sadistic or masochistic type of behavior mind set. Rather, these challenging experiences can be reinterpreted as a life lesson. How can this be?
Every experience we have in this lifetime is a form of love. All of them are based in love. Some experiences teach us to love ourselves and stand up for what we believe in, or want to do. Others help us to discover that everyone is deserving of love. Even the uncomfortable and challenging experiences serve to help us understand, feel, give and receive love.
Every day in Tai Chi class, my Grandmaster challenged me. He would say anything just to get me to laugh, cry, become irritated or frustrated. Everyone has issues they are working on to the journey to their heart. This is how we grow spiritually. No one could escape Grandmaster's ability to find buttons to push. He is an expert at pushing buttons.
One class day, when I woke up, my angels told me Grandmaster Zaysan is going to push my buttons. I understood this as a way to strengthen me to not be affected by what anyone said or did to me. During the form he stood behind me and made comments about my buttocks. Before this class, this type of comment would provoke me to laugh. Then he talked about truth and his disagreement with my perspective. I remained centered and calm, moving my body through the graceful form. I reminded myself all that he was throwing at me is just another form of love. I maintained my perspective of truth and told him during the ending prayer hands portion of the form, “All of what I have experienced in my life was not all for naught.” When I turned around he was smiling and ecstatic, “You did it! You didn’t fall apart!”
This was my test of not feeling hurt or bothered by what someone says or does to me. This life lesson can be applied to all acts of unkindness, no matter what the degree. If we can appreciate all acts, then we are further along the path to our enlightenment. We have the ability to choose our perception. When we understand we are meant to struggle, then the struggle disappears, because it becomes a lesson and another opportunity to create love for ourselves and others. I am grateful for all my buttons that Grandmaster Zaysan pushed, over the course of eight years, because I see them all as just another form of love.
Blessings and Joy!